mon histoire d'O

Bonte Size 2
la fille d'O

(Belgium)

You know, when you wish upon every star you see, when you pray God and the Devil, when you full moon ritual and black and white magic for one particular thing. And somehow the stars align and you can actually hold the object of your desire in this realm. The anticipation becomes unbearably; you are sure to be disappointed. But you are not. Never even close.  And everything is just better than expected. Even after...

I had not. But one day while lurking through images i came across a picture of  a lingerie collection by la fille d'O. The briefs were sophisticatedly provocative but its how the model moved in them that was screaming freedom. The seed was planted.

It was like that feeling you get when you see something you have to have. That you need to have. But no clue on how on earth is that going to be possible.

That was 2 years ago. I thought it was out of my league. Yes i was intimidated. But i couldn't look away. Desire was making roots.

My interest for undergarments grew. I started reading lingerie blogs. And came across one particular post which was describing the ethical fight the visionary behind la fille d'O was facing. Made me feel like i was on my way to do the same for my life, so i wanted to know more about Murielle Victorine Scherre.

So i peeked around her collections on her website. I was choked and seduced. The wisdom in the sexuality her designs portrayed made me uncomfortable. But i couldn't look away.  The desire was blooming.

My life changed and all of the sudden i was explaining sexuality to my daughter and had to assume my own beliefs. Assume, and practice! The talk had to match the walk. Individuality. Ethics. Love. Lust. Respect. And there i was. Healing. My daughter was teaching me. How to be the woman i needed to be. Even after the storm, the desire was still there.

And then, one day, i had the guts to make a wishlist. Of lingerie i had been lurking on. When i made this list public, la fille d'O contacted me right away. Even reposted my desire.

Now im not a popular lingerie model. Im a former biochemist turned acrobat who became a single mother flamenco dancer and who makes a living working in a boxing gym as a gyrokinesis and kinesiological stretching trainer. Lingerie is a selfish pleasure i shouldn't indulge in. But its who i am. So i indulge. And angels sings in my heart. And they make sweet love to my demons and they cant get enough.

But thats another story.

I ordered Bonte on June's fullmoon. A week later she was home.

The most beautiful packaging i ever laid eyes on. Intact from travelling across the atlantic ocean and through customs. Protected by a solid cardboard envelope, the Belgium asymmetric black package ended up on my Mile End apartment floor. And it was gorgeous. Unexpected. Surprising. Interested in little me! it felt - A personal note was hand written by Annika... to me! I cant decifer it but it felt like a love letter. And you see i never received any love letter... less so accompanied by such an erotic presentation... and even lesser so with anything even remotely close to what was hiding in the multiply folded black silk paper letter.

Bonte.

In all her beauty.

Was laying in front of me.

Finally. I was about to be consumed whole by my desire.

It took me a moment to figure her out. I was touching her so delicately. She was mysterious and building up tension. But when i comprehended how to put her on, what she wanted where, in the right sequence, she embraced my body like a desiring lover. We held there. In bliss. Alone. Sun-setting. Perfect.

I havent recovered yet.

I hope i never do.

Je suis enfin une fille d'O.

So Grateful

....OW....

Tanya set in black S
Sofia set in beige S

OWintimates

(Danemark)

Im not new at life but maybe at satisfying myself. My lingerie addiction represents  exactly that. It was a challenge to first accept this need that i had unfairly labelled selfish and vain. It was an even bigger one to write about my experience wearing lingerie and sharing images of my unperfect body in such lovely pieces. But it has actually revealed itself therapeutic in so many ways. 

Having accomplished a few personnal milestones im realizing that im facing a new one now. Im far from being a haute couture connoisseur or a lingerie expert. What i know about lingerie is only how it makes me feel when i see it, when i touch it, when i put it on my skin, when i move in it and how it leaves me when i remove it. Its a new found intimacy. A self love. But it is also responsible for how differently i carry myself since i have embraced my lingerie fetish.

That being said, i must confess, this review was the hardest to write so far. Discovering what i prefer and what i need about intimates is fun and exciting. Finding out what i like a little less is not so fun. Money issues aside not liking something always brings an amount of guilt back to light. And searching for the reasons why, was i guess, my challenge at this time. Which of course i accepted gladly. I want to continue growing and learning and evolving, and comfort zones are meant to be surpassed because life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

So here is how this Scandinavian company entered my lingerie drawer.

Not sure why, but i wanted my next intimates purchase incognito, new and easy. Do i now regret it? We should never regret. But if im being honest, maybe i am a little. Maybe for the fit. Maybe because i've tasted handmade and customed made lingerie and that intimacy is incomparable. It fits like a glove. It leaves no marks on your skin but the softest pleasures. But when i saw OW under garments, i wanted them because they looked great and chic with an architectural design that seemed great for movement. So again do i regret it? Only for the inflexibility of the fitting. But the more i think of it, the more i know the fit is everything.

So, I ordered 2 sets: a bralette and its matching pantie. From checkout to shipment delivery , 4 long weeks crawled by. No duty fee. All wrapped in individual cellophane sachets.

Always the black set first

So i tried on the black set. First.

The Tanya bralette opens in the front with a thin pretty silver closure. The shoulder straps are thin and delicate, soft and comfortable. They dont cut into the skin at all. They continue to the front following the edge of the bralette cups, creating a harness-like effect, very flattering to my little chest. I usually wear a 34b, so in the company's size chart it represents a Small, but its a little too snugged for my taste. And since the underbust is not adjustable im stuck in need of 2 extra cms. May be if the band was more giving and the elastic band allowing more range... but its not. And it leaves red too tight marks on the sensitive chest skin.

The brief falls high on the hip bones creating longer legs. The large waist band there is very securing for movement. But this time its a little too loose to my taste. So i have to wear it higher than how it was designed for.

Both are made of this black very see through material. It is also very thin. Not in a fragile sense. More in a confidently provocative kind of way. It contrasts with the underbust and waist bands that are thick and opaque. 

Now i was ready for the beige set.

So if you can imagine that same quality of a fabric but in the most gorgeous nude rosé colour. It completly melts with the tone of my skin. Luck? Maybe. I needed some.

Nonetheless, the same sizing dissatisfactions occurred for the bralette; its a bit too snugged for my taste. And the waistband is too loose on the lower hip bones.

They both have the same straps design. The doubling elastic bands wrap the rib cage and the hip bones. The elastic is a bit too rigid. As for the Tanya set, if the elastic was more flexible, had a higher range of motion, it would be more comfortable and probably would also fit a wider range of shapes.

So moral of this story, the aesthetics are sweet but the fit is to be improved . Lingerie is teaching me that sometimes its forever. Sometimes its not. And that's just the way it is. It really is a question of willingness, flexibility, quality and taste. 

cotton naughty & metal candy

The Carrie bralette S
The Blood Prom bralette S
The Sin brief S
The High Waist Vertical Hood brief M

The End Lingerie
(New York City, USA)

Once upon a spring day, while lurking on Instagram, i came across an entirely different lingerie company: The End Lingerie. I was mesmerized by their sex appeal. Most pieces feature body piercing jewlery. Daring, erotic and raw, the organic cotton was just another ethical reason to keep lusting over the edgy discovery.

As i watched, every week for the entire month of March (in honor of March 8th, women's international day) they gave away a piece of lingerie.

I found myself purchasing 4 of their signature pieces. I wish now i would have picked one of their garter briefs or belts but i guess that was meant for another time.

It took 6 days from order to delivery.  It arrived in a black box with stickers and a glossy postcard featuring a set i had picked. I was very excited.

And then all of the sudden, i notice something. The silk paper wrap around the undergarments was completly torn. As if someone had wanted to see to content without breaking the seal. Who had messed with my lingerie? I know i had a very risqué shipment. Must have been  during custom inspection. Was this prohibited material?

Without waiting any further, i probed and verified everything . The metal piercing jewelry were heavy and thick. I loved it right away. Everything was spotless... nothing seemed to have been trespassed any further. So i tried on the first item: the Sin brief.

The waist band perfectly snugged my hips, running high in the back and low in the front. Not a thong, but on my buttock not much coverage either.  The front of the brief is where the money is. The brief itself sinks deep by the pubic bone, but the two curved barbels are linked to a front panel, that can be removed if you wish, but that holds the pantie in place without spilling the goods.

Second was the Carrie bralette, and it was everything i thought it would be. A band for the underbust and another for the fullest part of the breast. The miniature shoulder straps marvelously opposed the heart center metal ring in texture and size. Somehow my little chest seems fuller in this bra. I can not say how much i looooved that.

Next was the Blood Prom bralette and High waist Vertical Hood briefs. Amen!

This combo sealed the deal for me. And i understood why The End calls their pieces naughties.

The Blood Prom bralette front panel barely reaches the nipple. There, a metal ring attaches to each shoulder strap. They then fall to the back by joining a bigger ring between the shoulder blades. 

Personally i find the metal feel to be quiet enticing. Cool as it touches your skin and warm as it reaches the body temperature.

Unfortunately my back ring broke. The ball of the circle detached. When i contacted the lingerie company, Lisa from the customer service offered to send me a new one right away. The rapidity of response was very much appreciated. Should be arriving anytime now.

And finally, the High Waist Vertical Hood brief: my plat de resistance. I had been dreaming of it since the giveaway. So sexy and unapologetic. The best of two worlds: a high waist with very little  coverage that holds the position. Once upon a time, i had a tongue piercing and several navel ones, but never a clitoral hood one. The vertical hood is known to increase sexual pleasure. i think just trying on the brief was very erogenous...

The organic and eco-friendly cotton is not subtitle or flexible, i thought. But as you wear it, no loss in elasticity occurs, no sagging, no loosening either. Only comfort and softness where you want it most. You can breathe, you can move, sweat and all that jazz. Everything remains in place, even the delicate and adjustable shoulder straps. 

I cant wait to see what other provocative stories this lingerie will bring in my life. I hope a body or playsuit maybe... straps & metal... that would be lovely.

The End. For now...